Burnout from a parents perspective. 


We as parent often tend to say the famous line of  “I am Fine” when actually how often do we give ourselves permission to say how we really are?
How much pressure do we put on ourselves as parents to always be getting it right and always be our best? 

Well this weeks blog, offer you the space and gives you permission to reflect on how you are honestly feeling. 

I read an article this week that resonated about parental burnout. Iv attached the article here for you to have a read over at your own leisure.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/10/cover-parental-burnout?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=apa-monitor-parenting&utm_content=parental-burnout

But after reading it, it had me thinking of what its like right now for us parents, especially after the impact of COVID-19. During Lockdowns and restrictions and guidelines etc. We have felt like we have had to spin lots more plates than usual. Whether this is their emotional regulation or the tantrums or its been trying to keep them on track with guidelines and settling through massive transitions like, primary to secondary.
When considering my own family dynamics, things have taken a huge toll on our family dynamics and the mental health of all of us as individuals and collectively as a family.
For my older girls its almost like there is a rush to go through teenage rights of passage, iv spoken to them about safety and the speed in which they are ticking off rebellion at, they said they missed out on so much it feels like they need to be too sensible all the time now.

When I asked what they meant they said……

Well we cant hang out like we usually do, people are scared.
We don’t get to play like we usually do, everyone is told to stay apart.
We don’t get to play sports against other schools, cause we are always considering the risk of spread.
So we don’t make new friends anymore, we stick to the group we know.
We cant even do normal things like hug, or touch or kiss even!
We cant share food, we cants share things.
Its not like before when we shared clothes, shoes and make up, can of juice n stole each others food.
We can only hang outside cause its not safe to be inside, so the group gets smaller and smaller because its wet, or cold or some of us don’t have the right kind of clothes or shoes.
It wont be long before we don’t go out for the winter at all cause its too cold and too wet, so we are doing everything we can the now. While we can.


It made me sad hearing it from their perspective all that they feel they have missed out on, and whilst we adults know there is an entire world and that they have all the time in the world to explore and discover themselves, that’s not their world view. For them its all about the here and now.

So when I recognised my feeling of disconnect from everything around me, noticing the trudging feeling. The indifference, that’s when I stopped to consider the toll of al that has transpired and the fall out from it. Gosh i feel like i am stuck in groundhog day, constant battles, constantly trying to find the push to motivate them, telling them that things will be good and they will all work out, and that hopefully sometime soon they will be back doing what they love, without restrictions. 


When in reality and all the while….
I don’t feel the motivation that i am pretending to have. 
I don’t feel that things will go back to normal, actually I have no idea what things will be like.
 I am struggling to be emotionally resilient and to be emotionally available 24/7 right now.
 I think i honestly really want to say that right now, I don’t have the answers.
I’m not fine, I am kinda rubbish, but that okay too because we are trudging through the rubbish. 



Sure things will be ok in time, but that not what i need to hear right now, i think we as parents need to hear that its normal to be feeling a little lost, a little off kilter and quite frankly a little burnt out.  




When I started to write this…. 


I considered all the advice that I as a coach and a parent can offer like the amazing self care tips we have on

Boundaries
Buffers 
Things we love
Communicating our needs
 Asking for help or support from those around you
Days off
Alone time
Love languages



Then I thought, I think we all know the GOOD advice there is in order to take care of ourselves, so I thought todays blog wont be about all the amazing things we can do.
Todays blog is all about permission to say how you really feel and that it is okay to say it. 

Naming what is really going on is absolutely SELF-CARE and it is necessary. So I hope you go gently through this week, offer yourself compassion and grace.

You are doing enough