Burnout from a parents perspective.
As parents, we often say, “I am fine” when actually how often do we give ourselves permission to say how we really are?
Well this week’s blog offers you the space and gives you permission to reflect on how you are honestly feeling.
But after reading it, it had me thinking of what it’s like right now for us parents, especially after the impact of COVID-19. During lockdowns with their restrictions and guidelines etc. it has felt like we have had to spin lots more plates than usual. Whether this is supporting our kids with their emotional regulation or the tantrums or its been trying to keep them on track with guidelines and settling through massive transitions like primary to secondary school.
When considering my own family dynamics, things have taken a huge toll on our family dynamics and the mental health of all of us as individuals and collectively as a family. For my older girls its almost like there is a rush to go through teenage rights of passage. I’ve spoken to them about safety and the speed in which they are ticking off rebellion at, they said they missed out on so much it feels like they need to be too sensible all the time now.
When I asked what they meant they said……
Well we can’t hang out like we usually do, people are scared.
It made me sad hearing it from their perspective. They feel they have missed out on so much. Whilst we adults know that they have all the time in the world to explore and discover themselves, that’s not their world view. For them it’s all about the here and now.
I also recognised my own feeling of disconnect from everything around me. I have had that trudging feeling. The indifference. That’s when I stopped to consider the toll of all that has transpired and the fall out from it. Gosh, I feel like i am stuck in groundhog day. The constant battles, constantly trying to find the push to motivate them, telling them that things will be good and they will all work out. Telling them that hopefully sometime soon they will be back doing what they love, without restrictions.
When in reality and all the while….I don’t feel the motivation that I am pretending to have.
Sure things will be ok in time, but that’s not what I need to hear right now. I think we as parents need to hear that it’s normal to be feeling a little lost, a little off kilter and quite frankly a little burnt out.
When I started to write this….
I considered all the advice that I as a coach and a parent can offer like the amazing self care tips we have on:
Then I thought, I think we all know the GOOD advice there is in order to take care of ourselves, so I thought today’s blog won’t be about all the amazing things we can do.
Naming what is really going on is absolutely SELF-CARE and it is necessary. So I hope you go gently through this week, offer yourself compassion and grace.
You are enough.